How I Conquer Fear

They say fear is a primal,defensive reaction to the external forces around us. Here's how dealingwithfear explains it.

We have many fears-fear of terrorism, fear of death, fear of being separated from people we love, fear of losing control, fear of commitment, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of losing our job, the list is never-ending! Many of our present fears are rooted in what Buddha identified as "delusions" - distorted ways of looking at ourselves and the world around us. If we learn to control our mind, and reduce and eventually eliminate these delusions, the source of all our fear-healthy and unhealthy-is eradicated.

I’ve always made it a point in my life to see fear for what it truly is and conquer it.

For instance, when I was a child, I was always scared of making a fool of myself in public. I was afraid of being singled me out and being labeled as different. I found myself becoming very reclusive. This I didn’t want. So, I decided to take action! Here’s how I fought my fear:

  • I took drama classes in high school and college.
  • After graduating college, I performed as a dancer, actor, singer musicals throughout NYC and NJ
  • I moved to a city of my choosing, San Diego, without knowing anyone.
  • I moved to a foreign country,Japan, without knowing the language.
  • I became an ESL teacher

However, it’s only now that I’m realizing my deepest fear: fear of the unknown.

Now more than ever, I’m speaking my mind. Taking chances. Loving others. Learning things on my own.

With initiative, there comes risk. With risk, there’s bound to be mistakes. And I’ve made plenty of mistakes. Especially in front of others. Too many to speak of. It’s my fear that each smirk or frown that I see will lead to some form of retribution or rejection. I’m afraid of what others might do to me. I’m afraid of what goes on in the their minds. This is unknown to me.

The only remedy for fear that I’ve found works every time is love. So, whenever I come across a situation that petrifies me to the core, I take action. I face the problem head on. I think of how love fits into situation.

Next, I act as an ambassador of love. I try to put myself in the shoes of others and I try giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. This usually works.

Fear is the absence of love.

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